old new york. new again

Another successful family trip out to the east coast again this year. Maureen picked New York City for all of us- the east coast family and more- to walk in the breast cancer walk in celebration of her. This was my third year walking, being a part of this family, getting to know this other side of my husband, my mother-in-law and the like. We had a wonderful time in New Jersey at Kerri + Brian's house. Telling stories, drinking wine, enjoying each other's company. I wish it was more than once a year.
so, the meat and potatoes- new york city.
I've had this fascination with new york since I knew the city existed. when I was around 14 years old I think. after watching many many movies of countless new york city backdrops, I began to dig a little deeper into where the city began, what it's become- the historian in me always taking over. my love grew into the obsession when I started following baseball and more specifically- The Yankees. And then again, the first time my eyes saw that cityscape while crossing the G.W Bridge... for once, I was speechless. that was two years ago. my first time meeting Sean's family as well.

so, the present...
I wrote about the city the night after I had spent the day in the city with Sean and our cousin Andrew.
-I couldn't keep my eyes open wide enough to take in all the grey surroundings of the concrete maze that is this city.
it was...intoxicating.
to feel my feet standing on the tarnished sidewalk, balancing me against the rush of the crowds and the sheer size of the towering giants- gave me purpose.

-the cigarette butts lay scattered and filthy
long forgotten after their last ember was sucked back
a smoky abyss- a 5min break discarded amongst millions
broken dreams and taxi horns shout their familiar empty echoes
the stench of gutter water burned my eyes
as I continue to glance back and forth from dirty faces and clean sidewalks
there is no color- only concrete
the color escaped into the flashing signs and famous windows
empty taxis line up, row on top of row
an endless stream of beggars wanting pennies for your distance and gold for your time.
new york,this is new york, the city.
it will break you... keep moving.
always directions to be pulled towards
this timeless pace
tireless- you only need find it.
I hid my face behind my lens
capturing moments. secrets
a face and then hundreds more
the city is in everything
grey
always moving.

I wanted to walk for hours. until my ankles blistered and each toe cramped in their own individual way.
there are many more inches of this city calling my name, begging me to walk this way or that. To stop, mouth slightly agape as I stare in complete seduction. This beautiful dirty whore is worth every penny- every adulterous minute spent away from responsibility.
I've been here before- only briefly.
This trip seemed much more worthy, more naked and raw.
this constant exposure of my ever widening eyes never tired- never blinked.
I wanted it all- still want, greedy in my desire. I admit, unashamed.

I want to start some sort of travel channel reality show. Where I can actually get paid to travel to all these different cities and just write about my experience. No talking, no touristy stuff- just write about what I'm feeling, thinking, seeing... how great would that be?